he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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