I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I pour the whiskey from now on
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize