dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Barsexuality is the new black.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize