how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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