I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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