I'm eating all of the evidence.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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