Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
