Cold hands, warm shart.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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