1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Less talking, more tequila
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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