HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
