Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
