I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
