he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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