In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
