just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize