google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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