I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
