So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize