you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
