So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
