Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
