Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
