Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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