i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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