I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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