In the future we'll all be gay
honey bunches of taint.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
