I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Terrible idea I love it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
