K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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