I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
