also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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