my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
