we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
