i can't believe i had my finger in that
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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