If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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