u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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