Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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