Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
