haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
