who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
