I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
