if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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