I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
