your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just want to make out with him forever
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
