You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize