I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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