i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
