i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This house was built for laser tag.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
