Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How does it feel to date your dad?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
