ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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