Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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