Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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