Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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