Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
