so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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