Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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