Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize