so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
